Healing

God you have redeemed this. You have redeemed this whole situation. God thank you for your mercy and for answering prayer. Yesterday was possibly the worst day of my life. I have never felt so alone. Today is a world of difference. Thank you God. You have been incredible. I wondered if I might die. And today I am high on life. I feel so instantly better after a night's sleep and new drugs. I'm healing at last! It will only be a few days now and then I will feel freedom again. Time for this free bird to fly.

get me outta here!

Today has been the worst yet. I had a terrible episode. I freaked out today on the nurses and doctors. I was gagging when the nurse came in and then kept vomiting and didn't stop, throwing up lots of blood and chunks and then I got really mad, so she ran and got the doctors because I was rambling on in English and she didn't know what I was saying, so then four doctors came in and circled my bed and watched me. I let them have it. I was yelling and crying and still throwing up, and showing them the vomit bucket and saying "What am I throwing up, and why? I shouldn't be throwing anything up because I haven't touched real food in seven days now! All this is my stomach! Also I'm starving, my stomach rumbles all night even though I have fluids going into me, and I'm sooo thirsty, and I'm so sick of having to spit every minute because I can't swallow it. You keep telling me to try eating something, but I do try, and I still can't even swallow water! And I've shown no improvement since being here and this is miserable because none of you know what I'm saying and I just want to go home!!"

They didn't say anything but had the nurse shoot me up with something that made me sleepy, but I was so angry and I threw the blanket over my head so that I wouldn't have to keep watching them watch me suffer. I guess they immediately called my "legal guardian" Dan, so he came in pretty quick to see if he could help, but by then I felt completely exhausted. When I woke up though, he told me they are going to change everything on me: give me a brand new set of different IV liquids with more vitamins in them, try a new breathing machine out on me, and change my antibiotic medication to see if I respond better to it. I AM feeling a lot better now... poor Dan only just left a little bit ago... I think he was scared to leave me alone.

hosiptal.... and not just a checkup

I'm feeling pretty miserable, spending all day in the hospital with an IV dripping morphine into my body because I'm sooo sick. I got a bacterial infection, and that's all I know. I went to the ER after days of not being able to swallow anything, including water. My whole body is in pain. I'm missing school right now. I thought I would feel better once I started on these antibiotics, but I don't, I feel like I'm right back where I started. Unable to swallow, and even if I do manage to get down some water, I throw it right back up. I feel terrible.

I want to go home. I sit down at my computer to bang out yet another letter to my ever-listening boyfriend. Really, he’s too good to me. At this point, though, it’s more like writing in a diary or speaking to a wall, just for the heck of it, even if the wall doesn’t speak back. I will go insane if I don’t find anything to do. I hate hospitals.

I feel like I'm encountering one frustration after another. Yesterday I had determined to stay in a cheery spirit, but today is my fourth day here at the hospital (it's been 6 days since I've been able to swallow anything)and there is still no improvement. I tried just sucking on an orange and I immediately threw up. I can't believe how intolerant my body is being. I can't even swallow my own saliva--I have to spit pitifully into a cup every few minutes. I just don't get it. It never takes me this long to heal! I'm feeling really, really discouraged. It seems like one thing after another keeps happening. And I still need so many drugs all the time to keep me from being in pain, and I still feel sooo weak it's strange. I'm really... missing home, I guess.

The docs just told me this infection was pretty life threatening when i first came in, so it'll take a long time to heal from. maybe another week here at the hospital!! :_( gahhhh terrible terrible news. but katelyn and our korean friend dan have been visiting every day... I'm just so sick of being here and feeling soooo weak, and bored! they put me in the long-term ward, so i'm sharing a room with 10 other ladies who are either dying of old age or recovering from a surgery. gonna try to go back to sleep.

letters from students

Dear Kate Teacher,
Hi! My name is Alex. And I'm eleven years old. My hobby is writing and make computer program. I'm cheerful child. What is your hobby? I think your hobby is writing! And how years old? Reply letter, please. (And here he drew a picture of a grinning boy!) Good bye~! From Alex.

Aww!! Too cute right?! And now, I'm not full of typos; this is how they wrote them.

Here is another, that made me feel really good... it was a pop-up letter (heehee!) and it says:

To Kate Teacher. Hi, my name is David. You said you made a book. Can you tell a summary of story? I want to know the summary because I will remember and tell a summary to my little brother and my cousin. I think it is a good story because you write it, and I think you are good teacher to teach the writing. Good by~ from David.

Aww, again! And I just have to share one more...

To Kate Teacher. Hi Kate I am your student James! What are you doing. I am write letter for you. I think you are best writing teacher. Because your fine and good for teacher. And I like you. What's your favorite animal is what. My favorite animal is the wite tiger. Tiger is scary. And I like tiger. See you Friday. Bye Kate Teacher. From James!