Today has been the worst yet. I had a terrible episode. I freaked out today on the nurses and doctors. I was gagging when the nurse came in and then kept vomiting and didn't stop, throwing up lots of blood and chunks and then I got really mad, so she ran and got the doctors because I was rambling on in English and she didn't know what I was saying, so then four doctors came in and circled my bed and watched me. I let them have it. I was yelling and crying and still throwing up, and showing them the vomit bucket and saying "What am I throwing up, and why? I shouldn't be throwing anything up because I haven't touched real food in seven days now! All this is my stomach! Also I'm starving, my stomach rumbles all night even though I have fluids going into me, and I'm sooo thirsty, and I'm so sick of having to spit every minute because I can't swallow it. You keep telling me to try eating something, but I do try, and I still can't even swallow water! And I've shown no improvement since being here and this is miserable because none of you know what I'm saying and I just want to go home!!"
They didn't say anything but had the nurse shoot me up with something that made me sleepy, but I was so angry and I threw the blanket over my head so that I wouldn't have to keep watching them watch me suffer. I guess they immediately called my "legal guardian" Dan, so he came in pretty quick to see if he could help, but by then I felt completely exhausted. When I woke up though, he told me they are going to change everything on me: give me a brand new set of different IV liquids with more vitamins in them, try a new breathing machine out on me, and change my antibiotic medication to see if I respond better to it. I AM feeling a lot better now... poor Dan only just left a little bit ago... I think he was scared to leave me alone.
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